If Lent doesn’t end soon, I’m gonna get fat!

So here’s my problem in a nutshell. No meat, no dairy. I want sugar! All sugar, all the time. Who ARE these people who become vegans and lose weight? How long, exactly, does that take? I mean, I’m fine with not LOSING weight, but it would be great if I could avoid GAINING it! Look, I’ve been doing really well with the moderation, and I normally do ok, but after the fourth week or so, I start having MAJOR sugar cravings! This time is worse than ever before. I think for two major reasons:

  1. I have cheated less than ever before. So no rich foods, so after awhile, more sugar cravings.
  2. I have discovered amazing vegan bakeries and now, oh Lord, help me! I have found incredible vegan cookie books.

So we are supposed to rein in the earthy passions. Like our over-indulgence in food. I am seriously having a problem with that right now, because all I want to do is sit down and eat a mountain of cookies. Also, I am working very hard on procrastinating. I am trying to avoid finishing our taxes. I HATE DOING THE TAXES!!!!!!! It will only take me another three hours or so to finish them, and I could have done them today. Instead, I made vegan chocolate chocolate chip cupcakes with vegan buttercream frosting, vegan chai cookies (there’s really no reason to ever put dairy in cookies, trust me), and MORE giant vegan chocolate chip cookies. In all fairness to me, I made the chocolate chip cookies because, after I had my heart set on making the chai cookies, I asked my husband what his favorite cookies were, and he said chocolate chip cookies, and then he expressed sadness and frustration over the fact that the kids scarfed down the last DOUBLE batch I made and he only got to eat two of them. So really, you can see that I had no choice but to make another batch. It was only fair. And I had to make the chai cookies, because I really wanted to. OK, even I have to laugh at myself now. I really should think about giving up rationalizations for Lent next time around! Well, what the heck, I may as well finish. I had to make the chocolate chocolate chip cupcakes because I already had vegan buttercream in the fridge from last week’s cupcakes (did I forget to mention those?). What else could I do? It’s just WRONG to throw food away, even buttercream!

Well, this totally blows the whole noble person fasting for Lent image, but it is exceedingly honest, so I’m going to go ahead and post this. Right now. Before I let my ego and embarrassment change my mind. Did I mention I am drinking a glass of wine as I type this. OK. Not my finest hour.


About LeilaPiazza

I am a wife and mother. I am an Orthodox Christian. I am a Syrian American with family living in Syria. I am a also a yoga teacher and freelance writer. I recently described myself in a job pitch as "a person who's lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years with a passion for writing and a passion for all things Portland. I'm a foodie, knitter, wine and beer lover, bee-keeper (yep, I said it), mead and fruit-liqueur maker, organic gardener, home-canner, hiker, biker, runner, and occasional skinny-dipper. I’ve camped all over the state, I sail a sailboat that’s moored on the Columbia (o.k., I'm the first mate), and I spend a large percentage of my time at our beach house in Seaside." That about sums it up.
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2 Responses to If Lent doesn’t end soon, I’m gonna get fat!

  1. goblinbox says:

    You want sugar because you’re not eating enough fat, which is messing up your metabolism and causing insulin resistance.

    The injunction to fast may not be about the fast itself while you attempt it. It may be less about your relationship with the relative world, and more about your relationship with the Self, God within, and the fast is simply a nifty structure the Lord cognized to make us have these experiences of not taking the world for granted!

    In other words, you rock, even if you are rambling on about vegan baking. OF ALL THINGS. 😉

  2. Leila says:

    “LOL” doesn’t sum it up! I am lawling, can you hear me? Yeah, you’re completely right, or at least, that is to say, I agree with you. I just maybe a teensy tiny bit, envy those people who manage to become vegan AND svelte at the same time. Alas, I may just be destined to be fit and healthy, but never svelte. I do, however, thoroughly enjoy everything I eat, so neener neener, all you svelte vegans out there!

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