So, as you may recall, the Fast is lightened on the weekends to allow wine (and other spirits!). This presents a bit of a challenge for me, sobriety-wise. Of course, we should be practicing moderation during Lent, and the lightening of the Fast is no good reason to get soused. And herein lies my problem. Once upon a time, I could hold my liquor. I could drink all night and get up and drag my sorry . . . well, you get the picture. But of course, (like many people), I got married, had a couple of kids, and well, it became fairly inconvenient to drink the night away. So I became a moderate drinker, and I have to say, each pregnancy decreased my tolerance for drink a little bit more.
Fast forward to now. I drink, generally, a glass of wine with dinner. Not a gigantic glass, filled to the brim, but actually, 6 ounces of wine (I measured it one day). Red with meat, white with chicken and fish. Very sensible, very moderate (My son, Joey, will tell you that I love “moderate” things. He’s right, I do.), very healthy. Occasionally, maybe once or twice a week, I will also have a cocktail (I’ll take Manhattan!), but that’s it, really. If I have a cocktail and two glasses of wine with dinner, forget about it. Definitely tipsy. Giggling. Goofy.
So. What happens during Lent, when I completely abstain from drinking five days a week, then have a glass of wine or a cocktail on the weekends. One glass. Tipsy. Giggling. Goofy. Last night I had one glass of wine. Then I had Kahlua with coconut milk (not bad, actually). I fell asleep (passed out?) at 10:30. I usually stay up until midnight.
I figure, two, three years, five tops, and I won’t be able to drink at all! It’s bumming me out, but there it is. On top of it all, moderation aside, what I really want to do on the weekends during Lent, is make up for lost time! I want wine with lunch. And a cocktail with appetizers! And another glass of wine with dinner! And an after-dinner drink!
So what does Lent teach me? Despite my apparent LOVE of all things “moderate,” I am perhaps more fond of the concept of moderation, rather than the actual practice of it. Or maybe it’s that I like to think of myself as being moderate, more than I actually am.
“Lord, help me choose to do what’s best for me. Help me build my self-discipline. And help me be honest with myself. Oh, and thanks for lightening the Fast on the weekends!”