I asked someone to forgive me today.

I’ve never done that before.  It felt really good.

I was talking to someone I’ve had a REALLY LONG relationship with.  It’s been a mostly good relationship, but as with almost any REALLY LONG relationship, it’s also been not so great sometimes.

Anyway, we were talking and some things that have happened in the past came up, and this person told me that they were still mad at me for something I did a couple of weeks ago.  And it related to something else I did a couple of years ago, which they also still resented me for. I was glad we were talking about it.

There have been other times in the past when this person has brought up things that happened long ago that really bothered them and they carried resentment with them for a really long time.  Now, these are things I had already apologized for in the past and we had moved on (or so I thought), but as we talked, I realized that this person still resented me for various things.

So I said, “I would really like it if you would forgive me for the things I’ve done in the past. I know I’ve made mistakes, and I’m sorry for hurting you, but I would really like it if we could move on and let go of the past.  If there are any resentments that you still have toward me and you’d like to tell me about them, I’d like to listen.  We can talk about them and I can apologize, but I would really like it if you could forgive me.”

I’ve never done that before. I think I kind of surprised myself.

The only response I got was that they couldn’t think of anything else they resented me for.  I didn’t get an “I forgive you.” But I’m o.k. with that. It’s a conversation we can revisit and I think it was good for both of us. And I think it really helped me to simply ask to be forgiven.

So, here’s another prayer:

“Lord, I asked someone for forgiveness today. Thank you.”

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About Leila

I am a wife and mother. I am an Orthodox Christian. I am a Syrian American with family living in Syria. I am a also a yoga teacher and freelance writer. I recently described myself in a job pitch as "a person who's lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years with a passion for writing and a passion for all things Portland. I'm a foodie, knitter, wine and beer lover, bee-keeper (yep, I said it), mead and fruit-liqueur maker, organic gardener, home-canner, hiker, biker, runner, and occasional skinny-dipper. I’ve camped all over the state, I sail a sailboat that’s moored on the Columbia (o.k., I'm the first mate), and I spend a large percentage of my time at our beach house in Seaside." That about sums it up.
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